party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Redeem this text for a blowjob
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
