I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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