I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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