They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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