seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
