i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
