I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
