What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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