i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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