Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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