i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
