"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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