i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
