Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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