you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
