they need to just BURY HIM!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
