Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
