Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
