So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
