i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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