He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
