i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
