K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
