I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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