I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
