Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
