oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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