this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
