So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
