his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
