look no pants
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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