Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
