screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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