I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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