Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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