the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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