It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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