is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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