did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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