There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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