...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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