What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
