i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
