Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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