I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
