my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
