pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
