sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
