i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
