on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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